Posted in Journal Entry

Journal Entry – October 25, 2016

So, yesterday, my family found my alternate Facebook profile and learned the “horrifying” truth that I’m transgender.

I am at a loss for words, thoughts, or even emotions on the subject. I know i was scared for this moment to come, but why? What could they possibly do to me that they have not already done? They disowned me for marrying my soul mate. They made me feel like I was less than who I was because i did not fit their mold for a “normal girl”. I hated myself, but now, for once in my life, I am happy when I look in the mirror. I may not be normal. Who would want to be? I am proud to be uniquely me! I am no longer subject to their opinions!

But why do I feel like I am? Why do I even care about their opinions? After everything they did to me, what right do they have to even the tiniest piece of my love?

Yet that is my true issue… I love them, and all I want is for them to love me back…



From the long line of Benjamin O'Phares', steps the proud Phares Loren Hutchison, the first transguy to bear the family name with the dignity he was never bestowed.

One thought on “Journal Entry – October 25, 2016

  1. I’m proud of you for following your heart. It is a feat that not many actual accomplish. I understand wanting your family to accept you. I haven’t told this to no one including Bai, but when my mom was in the hospital. Late one night when I went to see her I stood by her bed and cried while telling her about myself, and telling her that I hope that she accepts me. She never woke up so I can’t tell you if she did or not, but deeply I wish I knew the answer. I deeply wish I would have had more time for her to come to terms with who and what I am, but I didn’t get that wish. The hard truth is though that even if she didn’t pass away she may never have come to terms with it, but that was something I was prepared to live with.

    Liked by 1 person

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