Posted in Journal Entry

Journal Entry – September 2, 2016

I admit it… Everything is my fault…

Maybe I did not deserve how I was being treated, but neither did he deserve to be treated the way he was either.  Whether I made that explicitly clear earlier or not, I will accept the blame for any misunderstandings, and I am sorry…

I am sorry I hurt everyone, and I love you all more than ever.  It hurts that I lost all of you in one fell swoop just because I could not handle it anymore.  You have stronger shoulders than I do because you deal with these things every day, and I could not handle it for a few measly weeks.

All I can say is how sorry I am and how much I miss all of you: the one who knows me the best, the one who understands my love languages the best, the one who forgives the best, the one who grounds me the best, the one who knows how to make me laugh the hardest, the one who makes me feel like I am perfect the way I am, the ones who make me feel like everything is going to be ok, the one who always surprises me…

I know it will never be the same again, but I do hope that you can all forgive me, some day, somehow…

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Author:

From the long line of Benjamin O'Phares', steps the proud Phares Loren Hutchison, the first transguy to bear the family name with the dignity he was never bestowed.

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