Posted in Journal Entry, Uncategorized

Journal Entry – August 27, 2016

Cinderella was such a dork. She left behind her glass slipper at the ball and then went right back to her step-monster’s house. It seems to me she should have worn the glass slipper always, to make herself easier to find. I always hoped that after the prince found Cinderella and they rode away in their magnificent carriage, after a few miles she turned to him and said, “Could you drop me off down the road please? Now that I’ve finally escaped my life of horrific abuse, I’d like to see something of the world, you know?… I’ll catch back up with you later, Prince, once I’ve found my own way. – Rachel Cohn, Dash and Lily’s Book of Dares

Am I allowed to find my own way?  I am simply trying to process everything.  I put each of my relationships in its own box, hoping that the problems in one box would not spill over and destroy the contents of another box.  Yet, I am bombarded as the boxes tilt and fall.  I must go to work every day with a smile on my face to protect the young lives I mold.  It is my prayer that I can make a difference in their lives no matter what is destroying me on the inside.  I once was that suffering child, begging for attention, for help, for someone to notice, and maybe, just maybe, I would not be where I am today if one teacher forgot about everything else for five seconds and asked me what I wanted to play, helped me build a tower of legos, even just colored with me.

Maybe, maybe not…

Thank you, Tia.  You were the best babysitter.  You made the times I felt abandoned and rejected by my parents seem not so bad.  I had fun playing Little House on the Prairie, no matter how many times the Indians kidnapped us.



From the long line of Benjamin O'Phares', steps the proud Phares Loren Hutchison, the first transguy to bear the family name with the dignity he was never bestowed.

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